Don't Mince Words

In the age of broadcasting conglomerates, it’s hard to define community standards. I recently discovered that George Carlin’s seven dirty words should be expanded to include “God.”

Panic! at the Disco has a line in one of their songs that says, “Haven’t you learned to close the goddamn door?”

It’s a harmless sentence that is uttered in the context of an overhead conversation in a church. But, a Los Angeles Clear Channel, top 40 station chooses to bleep God out of the song and leave Damn in. Of course, the first time I heard this I laughed out loud. I’m sure the kids today, even a five-year old, could fill in the blank.

Los Angeles derives at lot of income from tits. I vote we take tits off Carlin’s dirty word list and add God. There are many deity forms, but tits are universally consistent in Los Angeles: big, perky, and in your face. How could anyone be offended by tits here when most five-year olds know them as boobies?

I got onto the highway late today, around oh-fuck-o’clock. I knew I was doomed to spend close to two hours in evening rush hour, but I didn’t. I sailed down the 10 doing close to 80 wondering if I missed an earthquake. Where were my rush hour peeps?

It dawned on me when I passed the Fairfax exit that it was a Jewish holiday. While all the Hollywood Jews were home atoning, I was having my Honda high holiday.

Home in 35 minutes.