Are men the reason there are lesbians? I’m beginning to believe it. Today I had one of those “what just happened here” moments where I shook my head. Did I miss something? For the first time in my life I got dumped by email – a true method for calibrating ball size.
I’m realistic and I know when things aren’t working in a relationship. This one came from out of no where. The “man” I was dating, who I thought was emotionally evolved, told me, “The feelings that I thought were there, I’m realizing were not a reality and I do not have the feeling that I want to persue [sic] this any longer. It’s not anything that you have done.”
I’ll spare you the details, but what kind of person says the things he said to me… things that require feelings… and then, poof, the feelings are gone and it was never a reality? Was he blowing smoke up my ass telling me things he thought I wanted to hear just to get laid (the old “I did it all for the nookie” alibi)?
He obviously didn’t know me very well. He could of foregone the “you are the type of girl I could fall in love with” and “you are everything I every wanted” and still gotten laid.
I’ve never encountered such insincerity–I have never ‘thought’ I had feelings that I ‘didn’t', I don’t even understand what that means. I have to keep telling myself I’m in LA – land of the insecure and the narcissistic.
I’m not going to change. I’ll continue to be honest and trusting and let the cards fall where they will. One day I’ll met a guy with balls big enough to know his feelings and not be scared of them. Until then, I’ll be envious of my happy, lesbian friends.