Don't Mince Words

When times are tough, you begin to evaluate all your expenses. When you aren’t getting laid, you review the cost of pedicures, waxing, razors, and other associated items. I decided to go off birth control since there wasn’t anything to control. Instead, I restarted my NetFlix membership.

It seemed like a better use of $20.

In the heat of passion, sometimes you don’t respond logicially to questions you’d normally respond to with a laugh or a “what the fuck.”

Now that a hand isn’t down my pants, I have time to think.

Since the 1960′s, the Pill has been a symbol of sexual freedom for women. Within a few percentage points, women could enjoy themselves without fear of unexpected motherhood. “Are you on the Pill?” became the easy way for a man to ask if he’d be making support payments in nine months. Last night I underwent a new line of questioning.

“Do you have your tubes tied?”

Let’s all say it in unison, shall we: WHAT THE FUCK? Tubal ligations are for wives that have met their quota and want to ensure they don’t have another baby with the husband they now hate. Tubal ligation is major surgery and is oftentimes performed on the way out from a caesarian.

I’m a single woman who has never had children. I’m not sure I ever want kids, but I’m not going to have major surgery to limit that option if the right man comes around (then again, I’m sure my health care doesn’t cover it anyway). I’ve used the Pill off and on for 20 years for period control, not birth control. My preferred method of birth control has been a condom or going home alone after the asshole discovery phase. That’s when I’m fit to be tied.